My whole will change again…

In two weeks.

I’m tired. Really fucking tired of it all.

Can’t help but wonder if these are the thoughts suicidal people think for time before they finally blow their own fucking heads off. Then I get paranoid. I’ve been thinking these things for years. How much time do I have before I sincerely do become suicidal?

I’m not suicidal. Why do think about it at all?