Change Ignoring Your Past

I’m pretty young. In my past, I’ve messed up pretty bad and chances are I’ll mess up again, even worse in my future.

Recently, I’ve noticed a bunch of change in a bunch of people, including myself. I know why I’ve changed. I also know, I’ll always be changing, no matter what. I’ve always changed at the blink of an eye. But then, I also know what the specific events were that made me stop in my tracks and look at myself this time around.

My change wasn’t inspired by what people thought of me, or how I thought the world perceived me. I still couldn’t give a rat’s-ass about other people’s opinions, both in blogsphere or in real life. I know who I am to those that matter and that’s all that matters to me. My change was inspired by the effects I was having on me.

But there are a few other people whose change must be inspired by other’s opinions of them; they’ve telling signs in the language they use. Sentences like, “Learn from me” or “I did it, so can you” say to me that they’re aiming to be a role model for some. True, some may be inspired by the stories and others may take your lead and follow your advice, and some may find reason to admire you but there will always be the few who still know you as the despicable human being you once were, and they’ll know this simply because of your past treatment of them. Without you taking a step to heal wounds you caused, this will never change.

When you realize this, you have two choices. You can attempt to ignore it (and you’ll never, ever be able to fully do this, as regret and guilt have a way of eating a person alive), or you can take the necessary steps to correct it and actually work to make your changes a little deeper than a surface show with temporary effects. It’s guaranteed though, that those you hurt in the past will never forget and will never change their opinions of you based on second-hand knowledge of what you’ve done recently, or how well you’re currently behaving towards others. Until you take the step to repair hurts you’ve caused, they’ll always be remembered and you’ll always be despicable in someone else’s eye. I do hope you remember that.

Stateless UAE Nationals, the UAE Government & the United Nations

At a time when the United Arab Emirates is asking for international acceptance, it’s incredible that basic human rights are denied to even the most patriotic citizens. I’m engaged to be married. Only, that marriage may never materialize because my fiancé, like 15,000 others in the UAE, has been made stateless by the UAE government. This is an issue that has been present for decades. And one that multiple promises for solutions have been made, and yet none of those promises have fallen into effect.

According to the United Nations Site http://www.unhcr.org/basics/ a stateless citizen is someone who is without nationality. In the UAE stateless citizens are denied rights such as documentation, medical, education, banking abilities, traveling and even marriage. Without valid identification it is impossible to do literally anything, officially.

A person becomes stateless here for reasons that apply internationally, like parents failing to register their children; or more-or-less locally, like the father’s racial background, regardless of the mother’s nationality. My fiancés mother is a UAE national. His father is Omani. Based on this fact alone, he was ripped of his UAE citizenship.

Legally, there is a 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights that states, “Everyone has the right to a nationality” and should not be arbitrarily deprived of nationality. My fiancé was once recognized as a UAE national. He carried a passport and a valid driving license. Recently, the government of Sharjah decided to withdraw these rights for all children born to non-local fathers. Upon expiry of such documents, he officially became stateless.

The UAE shames countries like Israel for breaking UN resolutions and committing war crimes against Palestine and Lebanon. The UAE puclically states their mission to the United Nations on this government site, http://www.un.int/uae/. The UAE is in such dire need for nationals in the population ratio that they’re considering nationalizing a slate of people from vastly different cultures, so long as they’ve resided in the UAE for an extended period of time. The UAE claims they want to preserve their culture. The UAE boasts equal rights between men and women. The UAE is fighting to correct all human rights violations for international recognition; the child camel jockeys have been rightfully sent home, the well-known laborer disputes are being highlighted and regulations are being put in place to rectify them. The UAE has given Stateless Citizens like my fiancé, the same promise they’ve been repeating for years, “This year this problem will be solved.”

How hard can it be to grant a person his human rights? How hard can it be to give a national mother the same rights as a national father and thus grant her children UAE nationality? How much culture does a non-national father take from their children even when the mother is national, and the family has resided their entire lives in the Emirates? How hard can it be to reinstate the thousands of unmarried men, women and children in my fiancés shoes their nationality? I can only assume it’s as hard as it was to take it away.

My fiancé and his father have attempting to get these rights back for years now. My fiancés father handed over his Omani nationality years ago in accordance with the UAE law which does not allow dual nationality, in order to receive UAE citizenship which he was granted. He is now stateless as well. My fiancés father has been to some of the highest rulers, and has been given written authority from the ruler’s office that he and his children should be granted nationality. These papers have been forwarded to the Municipality where they’ve been left stagnant for so long they’ve most likely been forgotten.

There are many options for stateless people. One of the biggest obstacles is pure patriotism, and blind faith in a government who has already taken everything away. UAE nationals who still have culture have tight ties with the ruling families and either do not wish to or do not know they can apply for citizenship with other countries, like Canada and the US. They still have faith in the repetitive promises. But soon enough that faith will run out and the UAE will lose more of its culture and gain more international disrespect.

Stateless people can contact http://www.unhcr.org/ whose mission is, “In accordance with article II of the 1961 Convention of Reduction of Statelessness, UNHR provides assistance to helping individuals by helping them resolve their legal problems, obtain relevant documents and eventually restart their lives.” You can get information or declare your case from the UNHCR through email at hqpioo@unhcr.org.

As a Canadian citizen, I fully intend to contact UNHCR and see what can be done for my fiancé and I as years of his family attempting to make way through the local authorities have gotten him nowhere. Should we marry symbolically or religiously without proper registration, his children and grandchildren will still be stateless and without the ability to travel or register anything officially. They will be deemed futureless prior to them even being born. Something has to change and these rights must be reimbursed as quickly as they were taken away.

Should you or someone you know be in a similar situation, I highly suggest you do the same thing. One of the major reasons why other human rights violations in the UAE have been corrected or are in the process of being corrected is thanks to mass international media attention. For the sake of my fiancé, my personal future and others like me, I’m asking you to take a step and do anything you can to give attention to this issue.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they must stop, and look at themselves and ask, “Are they the problem or am I?”

I’ve made a lot of enemies; many of them through blogging and many prior to blogging. I’ve burned a lot of bridges that I regret deeply but am too proud to even attempt to repair.

I learned one thing though, and I learned it at a very young age. Hate, it only manifests itself deep in the holder and rarely affects the one who’s hated by you. Unless of course, you’re a revengeful fuck, but even then it’ll come back around a kick you in the ass eventually.

The above link to Balushi’s blog is perfect example of someone I feel for. I suppose they want to me to feel shitty about myself because they simply despise me and everything about me. But I don’t. I don’t feel as though I’m less of a human being because I’m hated by them. I don’t feel as though I should curl up and cry or commit suicide. What I do feel is sorry for this anonymous guy/girl.

You see… I’m a perfect candidate to fester hate. I have a psycho ex-husband who made my life hell for a year and half and kept my child away from me. I have a former assassin who threatened my life for 3 years and dragged me through the trenches of the UAE courts including the Bedouin RAK ones, where my hand was literally up for grabs. I have the former drug-dealer who pretty much held me captive while I was between the ages of 14 & 17 with the threat of the lives of my family should I leave him. And I have so many more, all in my past. I don’t believe I hate a single one of them at this moment. And you know why? Because they’re no longer making my life hell. Why should I create my own hell by allowing myself to manifest hate over things that are in the past?

No. I will not. I have a friend who betrayed me so much so, more than a year ago that it still hurts to think about. Maybe, I still hate her to some extent. But I’m sure that when the pain subsides so will this evil feeling.

Hate is an ugly thing. More so for the holder than the hated. It will lead to depression, especially if you're missing out on the things you love because of it. If you’re holding it, perhaps it’s time for you to ask yourself whether the real problem is with you or with them.

They fired her.

I called the school this morning to tell them that my son wouldn’t be there for a few days because of this stomach bug. I also apologized for overreacting at which the administration told me I didn’t, and most parents would have come in screaming at the receptionist and everyone else in the school, should this have happened to them.

I’m proud of myself. I’m learning to control my temper.

She told me that yesterday, after I left, my son’s issue turned into an issue of his teacher being late. Which she wasn’t. If you read well what I wrote, she appeared slightly before class started. And that wasn’t even the point I was trying to make. They were denying that my son ever had a chance to be alone with another child. I was rebutting that argument with this reality. Nonetheless, they sacked her.

I feel horrible about it. My son loves her. And I’ve seen her teach him. She’s really very good when it comes to dealing with children. And she’s been hired to teach. Other people have been hired to watch the children while they’re at play or while they’re on breaks.

Does this mean that CEO doesn’t know how to deal with the problem?

I’m not supposed to know about this. But as soon as I get the letter that I’ve requested detailing the repercussions of this complaint, I’ll be sure to go in and try to rectify this. I may not be impressed with how she responded to me, but I’m sure that her fear of getting fired was the very reason she got so upset. And clearly it was a valid fear.

Who would of thought school could be hell for parents just as it is for children?

I tore the shit out of the school today. My son’s kg1 teacher is a bitch in denial, and honestly I thought someone educated to teach kg students in Britain would have better ethics. Maybe she’s not even educated for the position; which wouldn’t be a surprise in this country! The cunt denied that there was any possibility that my son was ever alone with another boy, as ‘they’re always being watched’. And she had a fucking smirk on her face when I explained to her what my son showed and told me!

I myself have witnessed children playing alone, during Ramadan while waiting for the teachers to arrive. I myself have been waiting inside the classroom with my son, when this cunt decided to appear 3 minutes before class is supposed to start. My ex husband claims he’s experienced the same thing with her in the past. And the ‘caretaker’ the woman who’s meant to help the kids in the bathroom etc. admitted that she’s not always there as sometimes she leaves for the bus!

Anyway, with her calling me a liar to my face, things got pretty ugly. She was asked to leave the room by the CEO – only a money-making-private school has a CEO instead of a Principal I’m sure! Anyway, he agreed with me that something was fucked up and that he’d look into it. He sympathized and expressed sincere regret over the incident explaining, the kg section has strict guidelines that obviously aren’t being implemented and he would be sure to ‘punish’ the administration that should be taking care of it. He promised me this incident wouldn’t go ignored and assured me that my son will not be left alone with any other child again. I did not insist on the other child’s parents being there as I was already so angry I’d have probably hurt them physically at the first sense of denial from them.

I have requested they give me an incident report as well as all information about what measures they’re taking to insure this doesn’t happen again. I’ve also asked for it to be put in writing that my son doesn’t get mistreated by any of the administration (including his cunt teacher) because of my reporting this. They have assured me of the same. This way, if anything happens in the future I WILL have something solid to take not only to the ministry of education, but also my lawyers.

I can not blame the child who did this to my son. But I’ve asked them to take very special care when dealing with him and also mention this incident to his parents so that they’re aware he’s got a problem. For all I know… Maybe this kid was molested by another kid at school and taught my son later?!

My son understands now that it was wrong but he and this child aren’t to be blamed for anything. He’s been taught that it’s ok for him to play with his parts when he’s alone, but not ok to do in public or when anyone is around.

He isn’t suffering by any sense of the word at school as he drifted through today like nothing happened, and this little boy and him are still getting along well. If, on the other hand something like this happens again… Or if my son shows the slightest sign of not wanting to be in school because of this… He’s gone. I’ll home-school him for all I care. He won’t be back there.

And he gets tomorrow off anyway. The poor kid has a stomach bug on top of everything.

My four-year-old-son was sexually molested by another four-year-old-boy at school today.

Tomorrow, I’m going to destroy that fucking place and that child’s parents.